Before & After: Three Messages Get a Clarity Upgrade

Feb. 27, 2026

For most of my adult life, I’ve been a fan of CBC Radio.

As with so many things in one’s life, the seeds were planted by my parents.

My mother, Eleanor, started and ended her day with the CBC. In the morning it was Peter Gzowski, on This Country in the Morning and Morningside. After dinner, it was As It Happens, the nightly news interview show, especially during the decade between 1971 and 1981 when the late, great Barbara Frum hosted.

In the middle of the day, there was the National Research Council Time Signal, a combination of pips, silence, and a long tone to mark 13:00 Eastern Standard Time. The signal was broadcast daily from November 1939 to October 2023, making it Canada’s longest running radio “program.”

As for my father, George, well…radio was quite simply part of his DNA. Throughout his life, he was both curious and capable when it came to the inner workings of radio transmission.

George got his amateur or “ham” radio license as a teen, and after entering the army as a young man, he served in the Royal Canadian Corps of Signals during WWII and the Korean War. The Signal Corps was responsible for setting up radio equipment and signalling infrastructure. Morse code, and all that.

All that’s to say my CBC radio fandom was probably inevitable, even if I digressed from my parents’ programming choices.

For example, in our 20s and 30s, my partner, Richard, and I regularly listened to and were influenced musically by CBC’s Latenight, Nightlines and After Hours. Hell, we even taped a few episodes. (I’m sure those cassette tapes are still kicking around somewhere.)

For years, I thoroughly enjoyed Stuart McLean’s Vinyl Café, Randy Bachman’s Vinyl Tap, and Eleanor Wachtel’s Writers & Company. These days, I wake up to Metro Morning, and, if I’m driving somewhere in the evening, I tune in to Ideas with Nahlah Ayed.

And then there’s Julie.

Julie Nesrallah, that is, the “girl in the chair with the big hair,” as she puts it.

Julie hosts Tempo, the classical music program heard every weekday morning from 9 a.m. to noon. As a mezzo-soprano, Julie has a velvety radio voice, and her knowledge of classical music is vast.

As much as I LOVE Julie, I nonetheless have a bone to pick with her.

Periodically, throughout her show, Julie will insert a little reminder that we’re tuned into CBC. She usually says: “You’re listening to Tempo. And this is CBC Music.”

Every time she says that, I think, no, Julie, no! You’ve got that mixed up. What you should be saying is: “You’re listening to CBC Music. And this is Tempo.”

Why the edit? My version follows the writing practice of going from the general to the specific. CBC Music is the general category, and Tempo is the specific or sub-category. To me, this makes more sense and flows more smoothly because we generally expect things to follow this logical order, from broad to specific.

OK, now that we’ve straightened Julie out, here are two more examples of communications that have gotten my goat lately.

Example #1: Medical Appointment Reminder

This is an email I received in January, in advance of a routine medical procedure.

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I am reminding you about your scope on Monday, January 26 @ 8:30 am. Please arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am and take the Elevator to the 6th Floor, Room 6-138.

PLEASE BRING A VALID HEALTH CARD TO THE APPOINTMENT.

Because you will be sedated you must be accompanied. You will not be allowed to take a taxi or public transportation.

Please note that there will be a $150 rebooking fee if you do not give at least 10 Business days notice if you wish to cancel your procedure - which must be paid before you can be rebooked.

PLEASE CONFIRM.
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Apart from the odd capitalization of the first letters on “Elevator” and “Business”, the unnecessary underlining of “$150 rebooking fee” and “10 Business Days” (which makes it harder to read the text) and the two bits in ALL CAPS (why those bits, I wondered), what really caught my eye was this line:

“Because you will be sedated you must be accompanied. You will not be allowed to take a taxi or public transportation.”

Okay, I’ve had this procedure before, so I know the drill. But if this were my first time, I might be confused.

For starters, wouldn’t it be helpful to know that I’ll be sedated during the procedure?

And what if English were not my first language or my literacy level was on the low side? Could the email have used different—that is, simpler—words than “sedated” and “accompanied”?

As for the prohibition against taking a taxi or public transportation … doesn’t that open up a can of worms!

Do they mean that the person “accompanying” me, a.k.a “taking me home” must drive? What if he/she doesn’t have a car? Surely, my companion and I can take a taxi or public transport together. The real point is, taking a taxi or public transport—on my own after the procedure—doesn’t qualify as being “accompanied.”

So, why doesn’t the email say that? Why doesn’t it say:

“During the procedure, you’ll be given a drug that will make you sleepy. Because of this, you won’t be allowed to go home alone. You will need to have someone pick you up. You will not be allowed to take a taxi or public transportation on your own.”

Sigh....

Example #2: Request for Water Meter Reading

Here's a letter Richard and I recently received from the City of Toronto.

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WATER METER READING REQUESTED FOR YOUR PROPERTY

Property Address: 123 Canada Street
Utility Account Number: 1234
Client Number: 6789

Dear Property Owner,

Our records indicate that we are not receiving a water meter reading for your property. This is due to the premature failure of meter transmission units (MTUs), the devices that send customers’ water usage data to the City for billing purposes. When an MTU stops sending data, the City uses estimated billing to charge for water, based on previous consumption at the property. Although the MTUs have been failing, the water meters themselves continue to function and are able to provide actual consumption data.

You can submit your property’s actual meter reading to the City to ensure you are only billed for the amount of water used. If you choose to provide your actual water meter reading, please do so by January 18, 2026. If a reading is not received by the date, your utility bill will be estimated.

The meter can be found in your basement where the water service line enters the property, near the main water shut-off valve. Copy the number on the water meter and submit your reading online into the Utility Account Lookup at toronto.ca/UtilityLookup.

If you do not have access to a computer, a meter reading may be submitted by calling 416-396-7649.

If you need assistance locating your water meter or otherwise require help, please call 311 and press 1 to speak with a customer service representative. If calling from outside Toronto, dial 416-392-2489. More information about water meters is available at toronto.ca@WaterMeter.

Sincerely,
Utility Billing, City of Toronto

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Where to start with that?!

First, let’s consider the format. A standard letter isn’t the best choice for a communication like this. A letter, especially with that longish first paragraph, makes this look more complicated than it is. Moreover, a letter doesn’t easily lend itself to readers scanning and grabbing information.

Content wise, the letter opens with an explanation for the City’s request. In itself, this isn’t a bad thing, but as explanations go, this one is somewhat technical and comes complete with the non reader-friendly acronym “MTU.”

That brings us to the City’s “request.” The choice the City is offering the Property Owner is fairly simple: you can submit an actual water meter reading, either by calling or submitting it online, or you can continue to rely on an estimated reading. However, that simple choice is set out over three paragraphs, with instructions on how to locate your water meter wedged in the middle.

So, how would I rework this so it’s more readable, more informative, and ultimately more useful, for writer and reader alike?

In short, I’d use a Q&A format with clear headings, simpler words, shorter chunks of text, and easy to follow instructions.

Something like this:

The City of Toronto Requests Your Water Meter Reading
Property: 123 Canada Street

Why am I getting this notice?
This notice is about water use at your property. Our records show the City is not receiving a reading from the water meter at your property. The meter itself is working, but the device that sends data to the City so we know how much to bill you is not.

What happens when the City doesn’t get water use data from my property?
When the device that sends data to the City about your water use stops working, the City estimates how much water you’ve used based on past water use data. This estimate may be higher or lower than your actual use.

What should I do?
You have two options:
1. Continue to have the City estimate your water use.
2. Send your actual water meter reading to the City so we can bill you for the exact amount of water you’ve used.

I want to send my actual water meter reading. How do I do that?
To send your water meter reading to the City:

Locate your water meter. The meter can be found in your basement where the water service line enters the property, near the main water shut-off valve.
Copy the number on the water meter.
Send the number to the City. You can send it online or by phone.

Online: To Utility Account Lookup at toronto.ca/UtilityLookup.
By phone: 416-396-7649

When sending your water meter reading, be sure to include these reference numbers:
Utility Account Number: XXXX
Client Number: XXXX

What is the deadline to send my reading?
January 18, 2026

What happens if I don’t send the water meter reading by the deadline?
If you don’t send your water meter reading by January 18, the City will continue to estimate your utility bill.

Need help or more information?
To speak to a customer service representative: call 311 and press 1.
If you’re calling from outside of Toronto, call: 416-392-2489.

To learn more about water meters, visit: toronto.ca@WaterMeter.

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That’s just the basic text. A graphic designer would make this even better, by, among other things, establishing a typographical hierarchy and adding images or icons—to aid communication, that is, not merely to decorate.

You’re welcome, City of Toronto—that one’s on me.

Next on my “To Do” list: Call Julie Nesrallah at CBC to “advise” her on how to announce her program.

Being an interfering, busybody communications nerd is hard work, but someone’s got to do it.

Remember this: Keep it simple. Keep it clear. Say what you mean, no more, no less.

Effective Communication | Words | Writing Tips & Tools | Plain Language